Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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