corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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