just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
