Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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