Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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