dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
