I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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