I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
