I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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