At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize