it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
