I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
