How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
