real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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