I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
