He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
