First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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