drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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