your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
