Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if only i could text you this smell
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
