So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
