need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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