You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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