apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
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he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your cock deserves a montage
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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