I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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