dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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