its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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