Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
