She announced her abortion via fbk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
