I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
