We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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