Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
