he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
