Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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