I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need a beard to bite.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
