OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
