The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
