You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
