is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
