We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
