You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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