Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
