We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
