And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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