uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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