We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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