yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
