No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
