I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
time to smoke my breakfast
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
