You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
