So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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