brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
