If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Someone signed my nipple.
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