seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
