their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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