Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
