Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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