You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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