I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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