apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
