"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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