I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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