Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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